While many families across the country are celebrating Mother’s Day with flowers, cards, and heartfelt tributes, mental health experts are reminding the public that the holiday can also evoke a range of difficult emotions.
Dr. Kim Penberthy, a psychiatrist at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, says Mother’s Day is not a universally joyful occasion. For some, it can be a painful reminder of loss, estrangement, infertility, or unfulfilled hopes.
“It is about being intentional,” Penberthy said. “Being honest with yourself. If this is a difficult day, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no reason to power through it and try to celebrate it.”
Penberthy emphasizes that masking pain or forcing celebration can be emotionally damaging. Instead, she advises acknowledging one’s true feelings and taking steps toward self-care and compassion—both for oneself and others.
“People grieving a loss, someone who may be estranged from their children or their mother, or struggling with infertility—even people who want to be moms—can find this day particularly hard,” she said.
For those supporting loved ones who may be hurting, Penberthy recommends practicing empathy and understanding.
“As individuals, we can respect that in our friends and family members,” she said. “If they don’t want to celebrate, we don’t have to push.”
Rather than pressuring others to partake in traditional festivities, Penberthy encourages space for emotional honesty. Self-care can take many forms, she notes, whether it’s journaling, resting, or simply sitting with one’s feelings.
“Mother’s Day can be complex,” Penberthy said. “I think giving yourself permission to feel the sadness or anger—or even the ambivalence about it—is important. Trying to fake it or pretend doesn’t work.”
Mental health professionals urge compassion and awareness during holidays like Mother’s Day, recognizing that for many, the day is as much about healing as it is about celebration.
